"On Love"
A Dissertation by Ms. Q
Love is the ideal of a type of caring beyond self. Love is allowing growth in
a relationship, for without it that relationship is doomed and both the loved
and beloved must then witness its apathetic demise. Loving oneself first is
not mandatory, but it does make you a stronger foundation for the weighted
responsibility of being loved by another. I believe in needs ....water,
food, protection from the elements.... and I believe that for some of us,
need is not at the top of the hierarchy of must haves.
Love is not keeping a "sole" captive, if that soul doesn't want to share a
lifetime. If one truly loves another they want them to be happy which
includes letting them go if that's what's required. Not everyone can do that.
It's possible for some to love outside their marriage and for some people
impossible not to do, to be confident enough in themselves to allow their
emotions to be felt and to know their strength about keeping them in
perspective. Love is freedom, not chains. Love is taking a risk and feeling
safe. An oxymoron.
Love is tenuous at best. And for some the inability to sustain a
relationship is a self fulfilling prophecy. After all, we are said to be our
own worst enemies. Some people become wall building experts simply by virtue
of the fact that they are a culmination of all that has gone before them in
their lives. But then, isn't that what makes them who they are? Catch-22.
Relationships should last as long as it's good for both lovers. Should.
There are zillions of both men and women out there just waiting to be plucked
into the waiting psyche of a creative counterpart, counterpoint. Love is
deceptively easy in its own right and isn't only complicated and made more
painful when its a ruse, a tool to use, but is complicatedly compounded in
the act itself of joining two minds, so much more difficult than joining two
bodies.
Love is lusty and full-bodied. It's quicksand, teasing you in and then
grabbing you, not letting you go. And with that, unlike quicksand, it is the
invitation of quicksilver, offering warmth and softness, sliding over your
body and into your mind. It transforms even the most stoic adult into a
childlike being in a candy store. All those delicious morsels just waiting
for you to eat them up....lips smacking, tongue tasting the sweetness before
you even unwrap your temptation. It's moonlight and candles and catching a
glimpse of the person you never knew before, appreciating the years you never
had with them, that made them who they are now. It's total comfort and
raucous laughter, and rivulets of tears finding a common pool. It's lust and
passion and quiet sleep laced with trust. Love is caring, sharing, and
especially daring, and at first blind to imperfection, concentrating only on
the perfection of mutual dreams. It becomes open eyed with brushed clarity
after time passes and remains intact through sharing not every but most of
each self discovered anomaly. Everyone needs a private place to ponder the
universe, togetherness aside. It's called space.
Love is as light as air. White caps of meringue sweetened with sugar. Its
shelf life is never standard and depends on the spontaneity of its
caretakers. It's wonderful and it's scary ....and should be experienced by
every human being at least once in their fragile existence with no regret.
Amen.
- Ms. Q
